Funny how a little prayer, a little faith, a little meditation and a lot of love can make you feel better.
My anxieties that hit a peak the last few weeks are slowly dissipating. I received great news from my doctor; my tests came back normal! Hallelujah. I know it sounds weird but in a strange way, failing a prenatal test to me correlated to me not being a good mom. I know. I know. I have no control over these tests. My body and my hormones will do wacky things but I’m Asian. Forgive me but as my husband says, "You Asians really take tests seriously."
My husband has been a trooper all this time. He was a bit cranky about my irrational fears but when he noticed I really didn’t have control over them and that his usually sane wife was being snatched up by the pregnancy hormones, he stepped up and gave me a big hug, a large box of Kleenex and just held my hand. That’s all I really needed, I suppose.
I also spoke to God a lot. Ok, God and Mary and St. Elizabeth. Ok, every saint I could remember. No just kidding. I just prayed that God would remind me that I am a sane person and that I need to be rational.
I know alot of people will laugh at that but I honestly believe, whoever you believe it, a little prayer and meditation goes a long way. It doesn't need to be formal. A simple conversation with God during an elevator ride is all you need.
I know this sounds nuts too but since my belly popped, I notice kids are much more friendly to me. I don’t know what it is. I mean, it’s not like kids ran screaming from me before. I’m not this monster but now kids will freely speak to me and ask me questions. Before they would just stare, hide behind their parents or wait until I initiated conversation.
Miss Bean, are you sending out mommy vibes to your fellow tots or do I look like a candidate for Mrs. Claus?
Miss Bean has decided to hold a rave in my uterus. I’m not joking. Last night, I felt like an upstairs apartment dweller trying to sleep while the downstairs tenant kicked and punched the walls. Holy cow, I haven’t felt that much movement consecutively before.
I tried not to move or chuckle because I notice when I do, she stops moving around as much. It was a bit strange but a good strange that I didn’t want it to stop. I’m pretty sure if a camera was on my belly, you would have seen movements similar to the electric slide or the Italian chicken dance.
Last but not least for today, Miss Bean, your crib came into the store. Now, I just need to borrow the CRV from your uncle to pick it up and bring it home. Your mom wants to save the $85 delivery fee for clothes and diapers for you. I hope to get it home so your dad can set it up this weekend or next. You officially have a bed,
Miss Bean. As your dad said, this will be your bed until you can afford to buy your own. :-)