I had dinner with friends on Friday. 20 minutes after I went to the bathroom at the restaurant, I had to go again. We passed a Borders on 34th so I ran in and went to the loo. As I was peeing what seemed like the Nile river, I let out a sneeze and mid-sneeze I tooted.
Yes, I multi-tasked myself into peeing, sneezing and tooting at the same time, in public, with other women in the bathroom.
The shock at my fantastic feat took me and I wound up laughing in silence for about 2 minutes inside my stall. The silence was deafening in the bathroom. The chatter stopped. The peeing stopped. All I heard was me muffling my laughter as I sat there wondering if I should just get up and go or wait ‘til everyone left.
I suppose pregnancy and the no shame-spill-everything-to-everyone rule kicked in because I proudly strutted out of the stall, washed my hands and walked right out of the bathroom with my head held high.
I think my saving grace was my friend was not in the bathroom at the time of my amazing feat.