Monday, December 31, 2007

Family, the sticky wicket for new parents

Hubby just scared the crap out of me. “You better get used to Spanish food if my mom moves in with us.”
We’ve both agreed that our parents would be allowed to stay with us for a brief period of time to not only be with their grandkid but to help us with care. I didn’t really think they’d be pulling an Everybody loves Raymond.
I’m not sure if I could deal with that well.
Sure, I’m scared of the prospect of 2 full time jobs but I’m not worried it can’t be done. Sure, having family to help offset the cost of daycare would be great but now he’s put the prospect of losing my complete independence and home to play.
Could that really happen? Could I not only lose my adulthood by the invasion of the grandmothers but also my own home and right to my own home?
I don’t do well with being told what to do in my own home. My tolerance levels are quite low and my relationship with my mom and MIL are relatively safe because of the distance factor. If I lose that, I know I’m not going to handle it well.
Bean, this doesn’t reflect badly on your grandparents. I love them. I just also love that I’m an independent woman with her own home with her own traditions and values.
I thought all I had to grapple with is the loss of identity career-wise, the multi-tasking of 2 full-time jobs, the learning curve of being a first time mom and the adjustment from coupledom to family.
I know he didn’t mean to scare me, but I am scared. I don’t want to be domineering but I think if it comes down to it, we need to be able to keep our home, our home.