Monday, November 20, 2006

If I had kids, I'd probably dress them like pilgrims.

I know it’s probably just a coincidence but my mother has a tendency to get injured prior to family events. My wedding, her husband’s nephew’s wedding, visits from family, Thanksgivings, Christmases plans have had to be altered due to last minute accidents.

I’m completely exhausted with work my mother-in-law, worrying about my mother, brother, my stepdad and Lrudlrick. Yet I ponder whether I should attempt to cook a mini-Thanksgiving dinner and drive it over to my mom’s for Thanksgiving.

Originally, I had hoped to have a small Turkey day at my house. I planned to volunteer in the morning like last year and then come home and cook a few breasts instead of a whole bird.

After 'The Fall 3', my mom can’t make it to my home. I initially thought it was a sign that I should just take the day to rest and catch up on much needed downtime. But my desires for family gatherings on Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter tell me that I shouldn’t just let the day pass.

Holiday gatherings are big to me. I really want that Norman Rockwell picture during the holidays. I think sitting down and breaking bread is important. That’s why hubby and I eat at least one meal together every day. That’s why I dislike eating in front of the telly. That’s why I dislike eating anywhere other than a dining room or breakfast nook.

My husband said if my mother doesn’t make a big deal out of the holidays, maybe I shouldn’t subject herself to it. “Just because it’s important to you doesn’t mean it’s a special day for you. I mean the holidays clearly mean more to you than her.”

I guess they do mean more to me. Mom’s not a holiday or birthday type of person. Maybe I should keep my Thanksgiving meal as planned and call her to see how she is doing.

It’s such a fine line.

“Have you ever stopped and thought whether or not these events right before the holidays is a way of drawing attention?” a doctor friend inquired today. “Or maybe she has seasonal depression.”

Is my mom a drama queen? My mother’s side has a long line of drama queens but I never really thought these events could be related in that manner.

Here I was thinking of how the accidents effect my personal desires when I should be thinking about why they happen when they do. These accidents don’t just effect me and my brother. There’s something underlying that I need to explore.

She’s scheduled for an MRI today and I plan on calling her and my brother tonight to see how it went. Her orthopaedic surgery consult is scheduled for Wednesday. I’m sure we’ll know more then.

No matter what I decide for the holidays, the fine line is there. Is being a good daughter continuing the enabling or doing the hard but right thing and nipping it in the bud? Do you stay true to your ideals or become a passivist? Either way I’m going to need alcohol, antiseptic wipes and gauze.