This is a weird day. In one word, I can describe it as surreal. I don’t want to linger but I can’t help but reflect on the days events. I don’t know if my mind is protecting me or if numerous specials and news coverage has pushed me from the reality.
I don’t want to minimize the day. I don’t want to see the coverage. I don’t want to remember yet it’s ever-present.
I wasn’t affected as most but in a way, we all were in a personal way. Things changed that day; for the better or for the worse, I don’t know.
For 5 years the area was apart of my life 5 days a week. The area was my second home yet my memories are no longer of those harried lunch hours or power walking ‘suits’ rushing to another meeting. The memories are clouded in white dust and debris lingering well past the month. The smells are engrained in my memories. The eerie silence as I stood on Broadway-Nassau waiting to do what little I could reside with the smells.
Relationships changed. Personalities changed. Life changed. Connections were made. Ties were broken. Some people retreated from society. Others realized the connectivity to one human family.
Some felt hurt. Some felt anger. I felt confusion and I still remember the emotion vividly. I was a child looking for an answer that couldn’t be given. I was an adult that knew the answer wasn’t available for the inquisitive child.
I don’t know anymore than I did then. I still feel the pain. I still feel the confusion. I don’t dwell on it. I don’t purposely think about it but every year, it returns and I’m always left with the same question, why?
Related tags: reflection, "9/11"
