So essentially, I’m being told to plan to sweat my ass off for the rest of July.
I rarely complain because as humans, I have the luxury to defrock within a certain degree to cool off. My dogs do not. Unless you count the time my husband butchered our dog’s hair to the point where it all had to be shaved off.
My dogs are both part chow so this weather is not the most loved for our pampered pooches. When the weather gets this hot and sticky, the duet of panting dogs can be downright obscene.
The one I feel bad for the most is my husband. It could be 60 degrees out and my husband will think it’s too hot. My husband is fair skinned so when he’s hot, he begins to look like a toddler who is 3 hours behind in his naptime. He fidgets. He becomes agitated and cranky. He turns red like a radish. I get crabby too but I don't turn beet red. I just glisten like a hot dog on a grill. I also try to avoid any form of exertion. I'm like an iguana but without the sunbathing on a rock.
It’s those humid days when we duel over who gets the honor of taking the mutts out after work; no one wants to leave the comforts of the air conditioned apartment.
We turn into whiners and pull every excuse out to avoid going out into the stickiness.
L: Come on. I did it this morning.
pg: But I have to cook dinner.
L: I’ll make a sandwich. Please? I’m going to have to take them late tonight.
pg: But they like it when you walk them and I have a bunch of chores I want to do tonight.
L: No, they like it when you take them because you give them a longer walk.
pg: They like you because they prefer the collars you use versus the harnesses I use.
L: “P, who do you want to take you for your walk? You want mommy, right? Go to mommy. Go to mommy.”
pg: Stop making them choose. They’d take themselves if they could. You’re making this into Kramer vs. Kramer.
L: If you take them, I’ll do the laundry.
pg: And put them away? I don’t mean leaving the folded clothes on the bed. Literally opening a drawer and sticking the shirts in it.
L: But I’m going to be in the hot and sticky laundry room folding and you do a better job at putting them in the drawers.
pg: I’ll put them in the drawers if you take out the recyclables.
This usually happens on a daily basis however there are certain conditions that trump the bargaining without discussion:
One has to stay at work late.
One brings home work.
One is deathly ill (requires fever, hallucinations, projectile vomiting and/or intestinal distress).
One moves the car due to alternate side parking days.
One wants a huge favor from the other to be cashed in relatively soon.
On days we can’t reach a consensus or just don’t feel like bargaining, we both take them out. Maybe it’s a remnant of the newlywed phase. Maybe we’re trying to be fair and equal. I’m more inclined to think it’s the chance to just chat and catch each other up on our day. By the time our average 20-30 minutes is done, we’ve filled each other in on news events, family events and work events.
I will be honest though; Lrudlrick does do the bulk of the walking. I could just walk them without protest but I do enjoy our long walks together even in the heat. I guess I just like the routine. I like the bargaining and the walks together to the park and the occasional Good Humor popsicle or hot dog.
Metroblogging's 10 reasons to appreciate the humidity
Related tags: dog walking, coupledom