Saturday, May 20, 2006

I look like a chinese albino

Sorry for the unannounced weeklong sabbatical. I wasn’t planning it. On Monday, my eyes decided that dry, itching and burning was going to be a good look for me. When I tell you they were dry and itchy, I’m being kind to spare you the imagery.

I thought it was allergies. Every magazine has reference to how this year is the worse allergy season than the year before. My allergies haven’t hit me yet so maybe I was just getting a one two punch.

I spent the day fending off the ‘Man, you’re eyes are red’ statements from co-workers. Geez, thanks for noting it. I had no idea until you told me.

Then on Tuesday, I woke up weeping. Not just weeping; I was seeping. I looked like I was watching a 24 hour marathon of Lifetime Channel Movies for Women. You know the kind; my husband forget to bring home eggs. I think he’s cheating on me.

I called in sick and went to my ophthalmologist who put me on corticosteroids. “You shouldn’t have waiting until it got this severe. I can’t tell if it’s allergies or a bacterial infection.” “Wait. I didn’t wait. This happened overnight.” “You look. You look.”
“I look like I’ve been watching Lifetime, the weeping network.” “Yes! That’s it.” “Thanks, Doc. Can I have my prescription?” “Here and treat this like it’s contagious. Go to work but you’ll have a few days before your cosmetically pleasing.”

I’m not sure what the hell I was supposed to take from that last line. Cosmetically pleasing? Thanks for the confidence booster. It’s not like I was feeling a bit self conscious about the red, puffy weeping eyes. Why don’t you just tell me to put a brown paper bag on my face.

I went home and spent the day with warm compresses on my eyes to reduce the swelling and to dilate my vessels.

The next I went to work and instead of having a day where I could just hide out in my office, it was City Harvest’s Skip Lunch, Fight Hunger day. As always I volunteered to be the company captain which meant I had to go around and campaign for donations.

I’m not sure if the weeping helped my cause but for a person who has only been in her new department for 5 months, I have already tallied $350 worth of donations. I have to pick up a few more donations from our downtown offices on Tuesday.

As for my eyes, the corticosteroids are doing their job. The swelling has substantially reduced, the redness is gone and the weeping has slowed to an occasional tear. I had my follow up on Friday and he’s weaning me off of it. If by next Friday, all symptoms have not disappeared, he’s going to guinea pig me and put my on something else.

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