Monday, March 06, 2006

My 2 cents: The Oscars

We’re not Oscar watchers. In fact, we generally don’t watch awards shows but so far this year we’ve seen two: The Grammys and The Oscars.

Are the Oscars always so slow paced, choked with montages and self-aggrandizing?

What was up with the teleprompter? It was like it being cranked by a monkey. At one point I couldn't tell if Lauren Bacall was having a seizure of if she was having a hard time keeping up with the prompter.

Jessica Alba, eat a frickin’ sandwich. Watching you hurt. I felt like your body was screaming for sustenance.

I don’t know who the chick was who announced the technical awards that were given last night but her outfit was autrocious. The bright yellow and bedazzled belly emblem trapped me like a dear in headlights.

Honestly, who writes the banter? Poor Lily Tomlin and Glenn Close looked genuinely relieved after they finished their spiel.

Reese? Really? I love Reese but from the contenders she wasn’t on my high choice list.

Jon, you were nervous in the beginning and even the audience seemed to be a bit uneasy but you did good. It wasn’t your normal audience and you did fine.

Did anyone understand a word that group who one best original song said? Honestly, I think the closed captioner didn’t understand it. I think my CC read, “I have no clue what they are saying. ???????”

What was up with the announcements on one mic and the speeches on another?

Finally, Jessica, holy cow, eat something. For God’s sake, eat a sandwich.

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