Thursday, November 10, 2005

Flintstone's chewables never gave me this many problems.

Apparently, I don’t close my eyes completely shut when I sleep. Short of having him sitting there by my bedside reminding me to close my eyes, tight, he’s put me on an omega-3 fatty acid supplement to combat the dry eye.

Personally, I’m not feeling the affects of dry eye. Well, occasionally, I’ve felt it, especially after the heat started cranking up from the radiators but on the scale of discomfort, The Dry Eye, is mildly low.

What is really causing me discomfort is the supplements. I’m not a good vitamin and mineral supplement person. It’s been a miracle that I’ve routinely taken my multivitamin. The problem is my body doesn’t understand these synthetic substances. Any multivit I’ve ever taken gets me nauseous. Now, I just take them before bed and sleep through the nausea.

Well, the omega pills are horse pills. I need to take one twice a day and I’m learning the hard way that if I don’t eat a humongous meal before I take it, I’m going to feel like I’m pregnant with the alien child from ‘V’.

For the last 5 days, I’ve been bloated. At first I thought the bloating was water retention so I lowered my salt intake. Then, not to be disgusting but, I thought I may have been backed up so I ate every fibrous veggie and grain I could get my hands on but that only complicated the issue. I was ready to go buy a pregnancy test when I called my PCP and she said it was probably the omega-3 my ophthalmologist prescribed.

Now, I’m sitting here typing, in a semi-fetal position praying that the cafeteria has enough Schweppes Ginger Ale to subdue my tummy.

L: “Does it feel like you have to poop?”

No, but I see that our number one topic of discussion has now moved away from the dogs and towards our own bodily functions.

It feels like your starving. You have these incredible hunger pangs that ride a wave. You try to feed it thinking, maybe I am hungry, but they don’t go away.

All I want to do is let out one gigantic burp and be done with this but it’s just stuck there. I feel like Charlie in the Chocolate Factory when Grandpa Joe told him to burp or he’d be chopped to smithereens. I’m desperately trying but it’s not coming out.

My doc said to make sure I eat both gelcaps during separate meals to combat the bloat. Honestly, I can barely remember to eat and this guy thinks I’m going to remember to take a pill that makes me feel like a puffer fish?

Has it helped The Dry Eye? Actually, yes it has at the cost of my stomach. I’m just thankful these pills haven’t made me gassy. Well, in regards to the southern hemisphere. I’m really considering suffering with The Dry Eye over this nauseous, bloated feeling.

People who know me know my inability to let a good burp out is cause for alarm. For a 5’3” petite Asian, I normally can burp a jock to submission. I’m not quite sure when I first burped in front of Lrudlrick but I do recall how his eyes shot out of his head. I’m not sure if it was an astonished/impressed look or an astonished/disgusted look but he still married me.

My brother and I have nearly the same burping capacity although I believe I beat him out slightly in resonance. Sorry MF, but I speak the truth. My mother on the other hand burps like a baby. What do I mean. If you pat my mother on the back she will continuously burp tiny burps. Sometimes I ask her if she needs a spit cloth.

Back to the bloat. For women, the bloating is far worse than the water retention during Aunt Flo’s visits. It’s more like a mini-cramp but in your stomach that lasts all day. Pepto, Rolaids and any other antacid you can think of cannot combat this evil beast.

I’ve tried fiber, disastrously. I went homeopathic with some old Chinese herbs and teas which only subdued the pangs temporarily. The only thing that has actually made my stomach feel better is feeding it and ginger.

Ok, I know the whole ‘feeding your stomach’ thing sounds really logical but I can’t keep eating every hour. Firstly, I’m not hungry every hour. Secondly, if I ate every hour, bloating would be the least of my worries.

Nope, ginger and any forms of ginger out there have been pacifying my ‘Mean Green Mother’. Veggie broth with ginger and leafy greens have been my staple dinner and I’ve switched from water to ginger ale but I’m not sure how long I can keep this up.

I need to find a happy medium or I’m going to drop these omega-3 supplements fast.