You can walk the entire park but there is not a dry spot for you to pee on today. I’m sorry but the heavens have opened up today and there is no sign of letting up. My shoes are soaked to the insoles now and I’m beginning to make squishy sounds as I walk. Please for the love of Pete, pee already!
Your brother knows the deal. You run to the curb/fire hydrant/mailbox and let loose. Then you about-face and we beeline back inside to the warm, dry apartment.
I couldn’t have left you without a chance to pee this morning, you understand. Unfortunately, you have not mastered the toilet nor have you the brains like Rusty to use the bathtub. Rusty rest in peace. So we walked and walked and walked until you finally realized that you would not find the optimal spot you had so wished for.
Tonight, I ask you realize that everything will remain damp. Please go by the big tree like you usually do. We’ll both be very happy. A snasausage may be waiting for you if you keep the walk brief.
Now I must wring out my shoes.
Alpha-dog aka the lady who can open the dog food container.