Found at my apartment:
A large black umbrella with wooden hook handle. When you open it, the entire chorus of 42nd street smiles at you in the interior. Each girl and her ringlets smiles ala Stepford Wife while holding her hands by her chin ala 'Jazz Fingers'.
This umbrella does not have a mechanism to keep this thing closed so you must always strap the velcro around it to keep it shut.
I found this umbrella in our closet last week when I was desperate for an umbrella. Lrudlrick took the golf umbrella so I grabbed this seemingly harmless black umbrella.
It was not until I got to my lobby and opened the darned thing, well rather, it popped open, that the chorus girls scared not only myself but my elderly neighbor who thankfully has a pacemaker.
This thing is truly creeping me out and I need to get it out of my house.
If it's yours, I will not question your sanity, just please pick it up.
I'd throw it out but I'm afraid it will come back like some twisted inanimate character in a Stephen King novel.
If it's not claimed within 7 days, it's going to the Salvation Army.