Monday, September 12, 2005

I feel like I'm a walking Japanese animation.

On Saturday, I had my pre-operative exam.

Essentially they do something like a dilation but much more intense. They need to assess that the prescription is accurate and that you are a stable candidate.

I’ve had my eyes dilated and been ok. This however was a whole other ball game. The doc dropped these yellow drops into my eyes and told me to sit in the waiting area for 20 minutes.

I sat patiently reading my Times. 10 minutes passed and I felt nothing. Another 5 minutes and I noticed I had to squint a bit more to read the fine print. By the end of 20 minutes, I looked up to check the time again and thought all was peachy keen. Then I looked back at my paper and everything was a blur.

According to the doctor, I had a glimpse into my life when I’m 60. Since your eyes overcorrect themselves as they get older, I’d be farsighted. In order to read, I had to lift my glasses up. I finally gave up holding them by my eyebrows and put my glasses on my head and read the rest of the Arts and Leisure television previews.

The rest of the exam involved giant beams of light and some type of headgear and an upside down shot glass like instrument. I'm pretty much set for the surgery on Thursday. I just need to place antibiotic drops in my eyes the night before and day of the surgery.

I left the office looking like a Margaret Keane painting.

Oh, and I now know what a vampire feels like when subjected to sunlight.

Mind you, the effects didn’t wear off until the following morning.

Courtesy of Margaret Keane online