Thursday, June 09, 2005

Feeling very Alanis today...

Blame it on the weather.
Blame it on the 5:30 am alarm.
Blame it on the 12 hour work day.
Pantrygirl has a bee in her pretty bonnet.

1. People that talk extremely slow and low.
Professor, you are a professor. Your job entails weekly speeches to a crowd of noisy, hung-over and horny students. How do you get away with speak inaudibly and in a John Malkovich slow and smarmy tone? I suppose your classes are not of the lecture hall variety. We were sitting less than 4' from each other and I nearly popped a blood vessel trying to read your lips.

2. Girls that wear see through pajama pants with cotton heart panties.
Perhaps, I'm showing my age. I'd like to think that when I was 19, I had the decency to check the mirror to make sure my pajama pants weren't see through. And if I was feeling especially playful, I'd have the decency to wear cute undies under the see through panties.
What made this highly annoying was not only the cotton panties being clearly visible but that her ass jiggled every time she sauntered. Yes, she sauntered. Why was I focused on a barely legal's ass? Because it was in front of me for a full block and because it was jiggling.

3. Leaky faucets.
At work, the bathroom faucet leaks. I doesn't just drip. It streams. It streams and makes a loud noise as it ricochets off the porcelain sink. As if you need incentive to use the bathroom, it echoes throughout the tiled bathroom.
Above this sink and to the right, there is a sign from environmental safety and facilities.
“Every Drop Counts! Conserve water. Leaky Faucet? Contact us at: XXXXX.”
It’s faded and water-stained but it’s bigger than big.
I’ve called facilities about this sink. I’ve called numerous times and it still leaks. In fact, the cold water tap doesn’t really turn so if you want to wash your hands you need to scald yourself to be hygienic. I suppose this wouldn’t be a major problem since high heat kills most bacteria. However, I share my bathroom with the labrats. Isn’t sanitary conditions optimal to laboratory studies?

4. This

This is a picture of the back of the bathroom stall. That post it sticker has been there for a month now. At first I found this humorous. Obviously it was a busy day for whomever had to sign whatever it was because she couldn’t even find a moment’s peace to do a simple human function.
Then I thought about the fact that a post it on a bathroom door for over a month means that the cleaning staff has either done a half-assed job cleaning our bathroom or have not cleaned our bathroom.
Hey labrats! Get your swabby stick things and some Petri dishes here! There is bacterial growth on these doors and door handles that may cure some disease!

5. People who don’t listen.
I could never be in sales. If I said to you, “This will not be part of the initial implementation. However it is on our radar for future discussion” do not ask me, “So is this in the installation?”
I have a face that does not hide reactions well. I will look at you like you are an idiot. Sorry, that’s just the way it goes. I don’t care if you are the president of the high society of high falutin’ mumbo jumbo.

Now, I’m going home, early. I left the meeting early because 3 cups of strong coffee cannot keep Pantrygirl awake. I’m going to hobble home in the heat, walk the dogs and for the love of Pete, try to get this damn song out of my head.