Tuesday, June 07, 2005

"And my lady, she went downtown. She bought some broccoli"

Last night, I tossed and turned restlessly. I was too tired to read, watch tv or write. Yet my mind couldn’t stop running a mile a minute. At one point, I accidentally screamed out, “Broccoli.”

Lrudlrick: What, honey?
pg: Nothing. Go back to bed.
Lrudlrick: Don’t be that way. What did you say?
pg: I said, broccoli.
pg: I was reminding myself to pick up some broccoli tomorrow. I accidentally said it out loud.
pg: Go back to bed.

During my tossing and turning, I created a list of topics to discuss today. Of course, it’s now a quarter after 5 and my workday has shuffled that list to the nether regions of my mind. Trust me, they were interesting topics. Well, they seemed like interesting topics at 3am. At one point I thought it may be wise to write them down but alas, I was too tired to fumble in the heat and in the darkness for a pen and paper in my nightstand.

I’m sure they will come back to me. They’ll probably hit me tonight at 3am in the middle of my ‘what-to-buy-at-the-pharmacy’ list making. “Cotton Balls.” “What?” “Nothing. Go back to bed.”

I know I’m not the only person who makes lists. Lrudlrick thinks I have an illness. He doesn’t understand how I can make a list of a list of lists I’ve made in my head. I call it the master list of lists. He calls it a disease.

Most people make a vertical list. My lists look like sentence diagrams. A simple list of groceries may include branches that denote specific brands, sizes and a description of the packaging. Most of the time I make my lists for myself. Sometimes I make one for Lrudlrick. Of course, he’ll leave it on the kitchen counter and call me to ask me to text message it to him.

Text messaging a list is a challenge for me. You’re limited to the amount of characters allowed. Let’s take the simple request for eggs, milk, butter and bread.

"I like jumbo eggs. Make sure you check each individual egg.
I prefer milk in a paper container instead of a jug unless the expiration date is better on the jug then the paper.
Butter always has to be unsalted and the 4 stick variety.
Bread depends on the freshness date. If it’s fairly fresh, then a small loaf of white, thin sliced is fine. If the Italian loaf is super fresh, then skip the sliced loaf and get an Italian loaf. If they have onion pitas (pre-sliced) then pick those up too."

Ok, that’s 499 characters. By the time I fit my list into the 160 maximum characters including spaces and sender’s info, Lrudlrick is home.

I finally come up with:
"Pls pick up: eggs(jumbo,check each), milk(medium, not jug), butter(unsalt, 4), bread(italian/slice), pita? (pre-sliced, small)
Luv U."

That leaves me with 4 characters to spare.

Of course, during the time it took me to compose my little txt message, I could have just gone to the local market and picked up the items I wanted and a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy.

BTW, someone needs to do studies on B&J’s Chocolate Therapy. There are definite therapeutic powers in the luscious Chocolate Ice Cream with Chocolate Cookies & Swirls of Chocolate Pudding Ice Cream. I defy anyone to eat a scoop of this and not feel better.

Anyway, since I’m extremely quirky with my grocery habits, I’ve decided to avoid asking Lrudlrick to pick up anything and just pick it up myself on the way home from work. It saves my husband the difficult task of reading my Sanskrit and I get to do the next best thing to making lists, checking off items on a list.

Today's opened toe shoe: Black ankle strappy shoes with a tiny silver buckle. Heel height at a moderate 2 1/2 inches.