"I'd change her sad rags into glad rags if I could"

My husband bought new rollerblades. After the brake fiasco and the inability to find the right brake, he went to Paragon and picked himself up a new pair. Like a kid with a new toy, he ran home to show me the gadgets and doodads it can do. Apparently it doesn’t have laces but something that resembles really strong dental floss that tightens with a pull of a cord in the back. And to tighten the ankle portion, you use this crank-like gizmo to tighten it around your ankle. He’s quite proud. Actually, they are a kick ass pair of blades. Too bad I don’t blade. I did try blading once. It’s just that the weight of the blades themselves pull me down. I feel like a rag doll in them.

One of my co-workers has taken to bringing me a Krispy Kreme donut or an Au Bon Pain treat every other morning. She’s extremely sweet and although I love these treats, I don’t need my ass to get any bigger. It’s bad enough that I spend over 8 hours potted to a chair. I’m pretty sure adding a Krispy Kreme every other day will only aid in roots growing.
But how do you tell a person, thanks for your kind gesture but I don’t want it? So I take it, thank her and occasionally bring it home to Lrudlrick. I know. I know. I’m just spreading the love. No pun intended. Sometimes on my way home, I’ll give it to a homeless guy. Once, the guy told me the donut was stale. Leave it to a New York homeless dude to complain about the freshness of a donut. "Dude, it’s a free donut. If you don’t want don’t take it." Easy for me to say, right?
Well, I’m beginning to feel guilty about these breakfast treats. Yes, occasionally, I bring in cookies or candy but clearly, this woman is lapping me in saintly deeds and I’m ungrateful to boot. I guess, I’m going to have to bake something to get this conscience thing level again. I promised my mother-in-law a loaf of bread last week, anyway. So this weekend, in addition to working on my cousin’s baby shower present, I’ll be busy baking. At least it’s not park weather.