Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Excuse me as I babble a bit...

You ever have one of those elevator conversations that go on too long? Those quick, “How are you?” meaningless chats you have with your neighbor that expands past the wait for the elevator. This one went past the trip down the elevator, past the front door and past our entranceway.

During our conversation, my backpack, martial arts, budgets, teaching at the university and being on campus for student hour were discussed. Ok. To be quite honest, it wasn’t a conversation. I just nodded, smiled and occasionally added an affirmative, “Uh huh.”

It made me think of the times back in college when I’d fumble with conversation with the opposite sex. What was supposed to be a nice conversation turns into a non sequitur soliloquy. Men do it too. Many a time, I recall sitting at the cafeteria trying to figure out if the guy in front of me liked me or wanted to skin me. I can only imagine what guys thought when I did it.

I think there is some chemical imbalance that happens that affects a person’s speech and thought process. You can actually see the switch turn when it happens. Everything is fine, then click. The portion of your brain that keeps your foot from entering your mouth goes out for coffee and you’re suddenly rambling about toothpaste, whether you turned off your iron and do not resuscitate orders.

Nowadays, I do it with everyone but not as frequently. I’ve done it with my boss when she was in my hotel bathroom borrowing saline solution. I’ve done it with strangers waiting on line at a book signing. The problem with doing it in areas where you’re left with the person for a long period of time is you’re stuck with that person after you ramble. Unlike the elevator incident which although long, had a near conclusion. With my boss in my hotel room, I had to see her that entire night. With the stranger, I had to continue on the never-ending line of hell in dead silence.

To end on a non-related note: why does every female reporter on Fox News today sporting a Farrah feathered look? Neil Cavuto just had two female reporters and both had the feathery look and pale shimmery lips. I’m waiting for the Dorothy Hamill bob to be back.