Monday, March 14, 2005

It takes two to tango

"If you want to have kids, you have to be serious about where you want to live." - Lrudlrick

So ended our trip to visit his father. Two things irk me about this statement. Firstly, "If I want". What the hell does that imply? That implies that Lrudlrick does not want kids and that I'm pushing him to have kids. Secondly, "be serious about where I want to live." I've been serious. Before we moved into our apartment, I told him, that we should get a two bedroom. Not only for possible offspring but for parental visits. At 30, I should not have to give up my bedroom so that my MIL can sleep.

Let's start at the beginning. Do I want kids? They'd be nice but the financial and emotional commitment is hard for me to get over. When I was little, I thought it would be ideal to have three. I also thought I'd be a lawyer, mother and part time model/crime fighter. I blame Charlie's Angels and Wonder Woman. Today, the whole idea of having kids terrifies me. Oh, I'm over the physical issues I had with an 8 lb watermelon popping out of my body. I have now come to terms with giving up the pretty high heels and the cute handbags. I'm now focusing on the financial and emotional aspects of spawning. Now don't give me the whole, "It's the best thing in the world." line I hear from every other new mom out there. That kind of peer pressure won't work here.

I just want to know how people can raise children in NY without breaking the bank. Ok, we splurge a bit with electronics. We can cut back but mortgages, insurance and maintenance fees alone are astronomical. What about those who are one income families? My colleague is the sole bread winner for a family of four. Four! Two adults and two teenage boys! Teenage boys! Have you seen teenage boys eat? Food alone requires a small loan for teenage boys!

I digress. So do I want kids? Yes, financial worries and all but not until Lrudlrick starts offspring conversations with 'Us' or 'We'. I will not be the reason why a mini-Lrudlrick or mini-Pantrygirl makes it's way into this crazy world. If this means we will never have children, so be it. I can spend my life quite happy and content as we are. Children would just be a new chapter.

Which leads to where we live. I love our neighborhood and if possible I'd stay. Also, it's been one year since we moved into this apartment and I'm really not up to another move so soon. Moving is very tiring for me. Lrudlrick doesn't see it like I do. I must have everything packed a certain way and I must know where everything is at all time. Not only does the OCD hit extremely hard during this time, my possessiveness about strangers 'rejecting' our apartment kicks into full gear. Let's admit it. Whenever prospective buyers tour your house, there are only two possible
outcomes, they reject you or they covet you. Most times, they reject you. I don't need that kind of pressure while packing up junk I've accumulated and trying to raise the money needed to pay the down payment for another pad.

Again I digress. When we were looking for a bigger apartment in the neighborhood, it was under the understanding that it would be a 2 bedroom apartment. At this point it may be wise to explain that Lrudlrick is the type of person that will make a decision to do something and do it, rather quickly. I prefer to weigh my options and take my time. Finding an apartment is tiring, especially when you feel pressured to make a decision. We finally decided on our current apartment because it was bigger than all the two bedrooms we saw. We decided that if necessary, we can wall the living room to create a guest room. Now, Lrudlrick suggests I 'get serious' and realize that we need to move to someplace bigger.

I'm still trying to settle into this place and he wants us to move. I'm just tired and don't understand why we've had to move 4 times in 9 years with a possibility of 1 more before we hit our ten year anniversary.

Here's the funny thing, he suggested a house. A house. For as long I've known him he's always said that an apartment was for him. I grew up in a house and know the weekend chores needed to maintain a house. I'm perfectly content having the porters shoveling the snow and the plumber fixing the leaky faucet. I don't need to bust my butt cleaning gutters and making sure the lawn is cut.

Then, he mentions visiting open houses in Staten Island. Now, no offense to SI-ers but before Lrudlrick, I thought the city's Potter's field was Staten Island. I'd rather live in Jersey than SI.

So, being serious, if I had to move out of my neighborhood, I guess I'd move to Jersey or Westchester. The commute would suck but nothing can beat my sweet bus commute now. I'd like to avoid the Bronx and Staten Island. Queens seems to far away. Brooklyn may be do-able. If Ed McMahon showed up at my doorstep with a big check, I'd definitely stay in Manhattan.

The big question is, what has brought this whole moving-house-Staten-Island
movement? Everything about this, aside from moving, does not smell of Lrudlrick.