Today is Thursday and I finally got a hold of my mother after three days of attempts. In a nutshell, I was so busy with work that when I dialed the number, I was too busy to palpitate.
At this point I have to admit that I wrote cue cards. Yes, I had to write topics to discuss and answers to potential questions. I used up my topics within the first 5 minutes. As for the answers, they never were used. She didn't mention my husband. She didn't mention my job. She didn't mention my brother. She did however allude to the fact that my relationship with my father-in-law was better than ours. (Sadly, she's right.)
When she got on the phone I told her that I tried getting a hold of her for three days.
silence
I asked her how she was.
silence
I asked her what she was doing for the holiday weekend.
silence
I asked her if she’d like to attend Easter mass.
Why? I’ll just sit there like a dummy. I don’t go to church. What would I do there?
pg: Since everyone [my stepdad, my brother and me] is going to church, I thought it would be nice for all of us to go together. We can grab something to eat afterwards.
silence
Is your brother going?
pg:Yes.
silence
pg:You don't have to give me an answer now. If you want to come, that would be nice.
silence
pg:So. How are you and Joe?
Same old. Same old. Where do you get this idea that me and Joe are having problems?
pg:I didn’t. I just asked how you guys were doing.
silence
pg:So. Are you getting ready for Aunt Susan’s visit?
Get ready for what? They come. They come.
pg:ok.
Why do you go to church anyway? Don’t you spend all your weekend’s with [your stepdad]?
pg:Visiting Staten Island is a one day thing and besides, church is only an hour.
So you do visit your father in law?
pg:Yes, when he asks me to and we’re available.
silence
Every week?
pg:No.
Every month?
pg:No. Occasionally. He calls and asks us to come over and if we can, we can.
Well, I feel sorry that he has no holidays. I’ve become my family’s burden.
pg:Excuse me?
What? You don’t understand? Your stepdad has to drive me to the doctor’s on his day off. I rely on people now.
silence
Besides, I can’t go to church because your brother is taking me to the doctor’s this weekend. I need to see him before he goes on vacation. So sorry.
pg:It’s ok. Just thought I’d throw it out there.
And if no one can take me then I’ll find a way.
pg:Ok.
prolonged silence
pg:Well, I better be going. I need to finish some things up at work before I head home.
k. Bye.
Right now, I’m still consuming it. Maybe after my commute home I’ll have some thoughts. Right now, the only thing I can think of is how defensive she was. My thoughts as they flow………
