Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Staten Island Chuck. Punxsutawney Phil and Bill Murray.

If I were a groundhog, I’d stay in bed and forget the fanfare and rowdy crowds forming around my house and just sleep in. Yesterday’s 6:30am wake up led to a 8:30 wake up today. If I had the energy, I would have threw my alarm out the window but alas, I didn’t have the physical dexterity to get up and shut the noisy thing off. I stayed in bed for at least 10 minutes listening to it chirp at me until I mustered the energy to literally fling myself forward to turn the darn thing off.

You know why Phil always predicts more winter? Because he's crabby. How would you like it if hundreds of noisy people, some with flashbulbs and video cameras, drag your butt out of bed? Notice Phil and Chuck are male. There is no way a woman would go out there sans morning makeup. Just leave the damn groundhogs alone. All they want to do is sleep. If a hundred people surrounded my bed and woke my butt up to look out the window, I'd frickin' curse them out and hobble back into my bed while it was still warm. Poor Phil can’t curse and can only be thankful this is a once a year ordeal. People, let’s leave the poor animal alone.