Thursday, January 27, 2005

Food Network airs how candy hearts (aka Tums) are made

Out of all the Hallmark generated holidays, I have a general-bad-taste-in- mouth feel for Valentine’s Day. I don’t need some company to tell me to buy heart print silk boxers for my SO.

BTW, men who wear cutesy underwear also wear cutesy ties. If you are over the age of 16, you should not have either types of items in your wardrobe. Of course, this excludes any cutesy items your mom or MIL may give you. Those you keep and pull out once a year to say, “Hey, I like this stuff. Please keep it coming.”

Now, don’t go off on how we celebrate a saint/martyr on February 14th. Unless that person is shaped like a chubby baby and has arrows, it’s not on the brain.

I dislike the stereotype that women look forward to this day. Not to say that I don’t like the nighties. I do. I just don’t think it should be an obligation on either party. After high school, Valentine’s Day lost it’s appeal and maybe that’s what V-Day should be, a youth holiday or new relationship holiday.

I suppose there are people who feel that their spouse is ‘romantically’ challenged and welcome a day of romantic obligation but don’t you feel weird about ordering your spouse to show ‘affection’? “You will love me and bring home a puppy and a dozen long stemmed red roses.”

This V-day, I plan to make a nice dinner and watch ‘24’ with my hubby. Dinner won’t be any different than our usual dinners except I’ll probably make a nice dessert. We’ll probably exchange cards which I don’t mind. That’s the one thing about V-Day that I think is cute. Like most men, Lrudlrick doesn’t go card happy. (There is a reason why Hallmark usually shows a lunatic woman, not man, daydreaming about having a mini-hallmark store at home.) I get a card approximately thrice a year, Valentine’s Day, our Wedding anniversary and my birthday. I keep all of them. I think they are the sweetest presents. I imagine him going into a card shop, the day of, of course, frantically searching for a card. Timing is everything. If he’s like he is shopping for clothes, I’m sure the card most be located within 8 paces of the door. Every card I have received though always seems like time was spent on it. Maybe I’m delusional. I’ll just keep imagining him going through the stacks trying to find the right card.

So why am I bringing up V-day in January? Well, it’s very difficult to not be bombarded with reminders that it’s around the corner. Every store has had a Valentine’s Day display up since New Years. You go in to buy a quart of milk and you leave feeling guilty that you haven’t even thought of what to get for your SO. I don’t need this kind of pressure.

Mothra is shaking wondering why I haven’t planned anything yet. Why? Cause that is the lowest priority item on my list. February kicks off with my cousin’s birthday, my mother’s birthday and the Superbowl. Chinese New Years and Ash Wednesday storm in mid-week followed by the traditional return home for New Year’s visit to mom. Valentine’s Day caps off this crazy week of family freneticism. In between, I have a data pull that would make any programmer twinge with coffee jitters, the budget is due so everyone is counting paperclips and a set of consultants land for a 3 month ‘audit’.

Mom’s got the just-back-from-vacation blues, which probably is compounded since her birthday is around the corner. Lrudlrick has jury duty and the weather is causing havoc to my hair. Yes, the hair is an issue. Every morning I look like I belong on a box of Lilt.

So Valentine’s Day is just going to have to hold it’s nagging until I can either figure out what’s going on for my mom’s birthday, Lrudlrick finds out if he’s stuck in a 3 day, 5 day, eek, 2 week, or gasp, 4 week trial or my hair decides it will play nice.

Need an idea for Valentine's Day? Show your true feelings.