Monday, September 06, 2004

Psychosomatic symptoms...

I am soooooo nervous.


All I keep hoping for is no rain. No Showers.


Why did I think I could do this?


We're on a budget. What made me think that I could hold a party?


I want to call and cancel.


I'm a nervous wreck. I have symptoms that I haven't had since my PCP
diagnosed me with a nervous stomach when I was 16.


I've been jittery. I've been cramping. I've been nauseous, dizzy and light
headed.


I know I cannot control the weather.


I've been looked at possibly indoor alternatives. I can't possible afford
them.


Weather.com says rain. The local weather says partly cloudy. Please please
please let it be a nice day. All I want for my birthday is to have wonderful
weather and a nice party for my husband. I don't want anything else.


And the sneaking around is killing me. I feel sick. The fibs I've been
telling. And I love hubby but buying a new car is not helping me.


My hubby is a gung ho man. He wants everything done immediately when it comes
to his new toys. As for the laundry and putting up that hook I've asked for in
my closet since March, they can wait. All I need is for him to take the car for
some bloody installation mid-week or worse, Saturday.


I'm so scared. Please please let this party happen. All I want is a nice
family party.